One of my sweet night shift boys' dad died last week. He was quite yound at just 46. It was just heart crushing when my employee alerted me it was due to suicide. Cut to the chase. I attended his funeral in an effort to support my employee on Sunday April 26th at New MOunt Baptist Church in Arlington, Va. It was uniquely odd to be the only white person not in the choir. There were 2 or 3 white people in the choir. It was an exceptionally well performed funeral service although heart wrenchingly sad. I had never been to the funeral of a suicide victim. In fact I had only ever been to one other funeral where a very young parent died to a chiild (under 18) person. The other funeral was very expected after a lengthy and difficult battle with cancer a friend in PA's mom fought for years and died when she was about 40 and the friend about 13. This of course is very different with litterally no warning to an impending death. I guess it made it all that more sad and difficult to face. They had a small choir singing and it was a beatiful God glorifying service. My heart just broke for the family during one particularly amazing song that was when you've done all you can and all you have left in you you just stand.... i had never heard the song before. It was sung amazingly and the family was obviously moved... I will look for the exact lyrics (pending song) I have frequently wondered the biblical stance on suicide... all my questions were put to rest and I now have a peace and understanding on the topic. If you are a believer and have accepted Jesus Christ as your Saviour you will be Saved. I always agreed and believed that. However many a timmes non-believers or even debaters like to ask those what iff your last moments were in sin... then are you still going to Heaven?? This Pastor, James Coleman was very straight forward and clear. YOu don't need to ask forgiveness for each sin, who can even remember each sin? So as long as you were a believer you are saved. I was impressed by his explanation and it made complete sence! Minus the very hot temps this was probably the best although most awkward funeral I have attended... not that I am hoping to attend anymore funerals any time soon to compare you know. I didn't know his dad personally other than when he'd pick up my employee from work and occassionally order a whopper jr. no pickles... but I believe he would have been pleased and impressed by how well this sad event went off.
In addition in the little memory paper you get at funerals, there were submissions by his siblings, daughter and wife. You could tell in the writing how much grief and heart break they were exprencing due to his death and how they wish he would have sought help or let them know something was very wrong, but the most important message they loved him, he was loved, and they know he loved them as well. The wife wrote that although this was not the way they had dreampt of it ending she still loved hi and was at the last day(s) was his wife. As I do not have permission I won't mention names or specifically quoted things but It was impressive. I had never been to an African American funeral and it was a new experience, eye opening, and as upbeat as a funeral can be.
My prayers and thoughts continue to be with this sweet employee and his faily. I truly care about my employees and their struggles. I am really sorry not just ya know "it's nice to send flowers sorry". And I feel this ache for every family in my Bk store who has lost someone very close... and I have attended the funerals as much as possible.
STAND SONG LYRICS (song I mentioned above) by Donnie McClurkin
Lyrics to Stand :
(What do you do) when you've done all you can
And it seems like it's never enough
And what do you say when your friends turn away
And you're all alone
Tell me what do you give when you've given your all
And it seems like you can't make it through
Well you just stand, when there's nothing left to do
You just stand, watch the Lord see you through
Yes after you've done all you can, you just stand
Tell me how do you handle the guilt of your past
Tell me how do you deal with the shame
And how can you smile while your heart has been broken
And filled with pain filled with pain
Tell me what do you give when you've given your all
And it seems like you can't make it through
Child you just stand when there's nothing left to do
You just stand watch the Lord see you through
Yes after you've done all you can, you just stand
(Stand) and be sure (and be sure)
Be not entangled in that bondage again, you just stand
(Stand) and endure (and endure)
For God has a purpose yes God has a plan, tell me
(What do you do) When you've done all you can
And it seems like you can't make it through
Child you just...stand (stand) you just stand (stand) stand (stand)
Don't you dare give up (you just)
Through the storm (stand)
Stand through the rain (stand)
Through the hurt (stand)
Yeah through the pain (you just)
Don't you bow (stand) and dont you bend (stand)
Don't give up (stand) no dont give in (you just)
Hold on (stand) , just be strong (stand)
God will step in (stand), it won't be long no no no(you just)
After you've done all you can (after you've done all you can)
After you've done all you can (after you've done all you can)
After you've gone through the hurt (after you've done all you can)
After you've gone through the pain oh my (after you've done all you can)
After you've gone through the storm (after you've done all you can)
After you've gone through the rain (after you've done all you can)
Prayed and cried x 4
After you've done all you can....you just ...
Stand
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